


Snowflake

by Shwtlee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), POV Kylo Ren, Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: She left him unconscious and ran off. Then showed up to rescue the ragtag group of resistance, while the visage of his uncle distracted him.He felt betrayed, he felt angry back then. But when the dust settled he only felt regret. He mourned the lost opportunity and the possibility of a future she offered.





	Snowflake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is for Carina @reylojohnson
> 
> Merry Christmas kiddo. Hope you are feeling better.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo Ren was exhausted. All the meetings and the assemblies he had to attend since he became the Supreme Leader was weighing on him. He'd rather be on the field with his Knights or training with them. But instead, he had to attend meetings with benefactors and donors. These were the rich warlords and sovereign of systems that were now under the governance of the Order.

 

It was extremely tedious, not to mention he fundamentally disagreed with them and everything they stood for. He could quickly see the way Snoke ran things around here was not going to work for him. Some major shake ups were in order, but he was so tired and burnt out. The exertion of power from the battle of Crait and the face off with the Praetorian Guards took a toll on him.

 

It had only been a week since he became the Supreme Leader. And already he felt like giving it all up. He wondered if he should have just taken _her_ offer, and not for the first time since that day. The thought plagues his dreams.

 

She left him unconscious and ran off. Then showed up to rescue the ragtag group of resistance, while the visage of his uncle distracted him.

 

He felt betrayed, he felt angry back then. But when the dust settled he only felt regret. He mourned the lost opportunity and the possibility of a future she offered.

 

It kept him up at night. Not that he slept very well before he met her. But ever since his path crossed hers, it just got worse.

 

And within a course of a week his life had turned upside down. He reached further than he could have expected. But he also lost so much of his soul in the process. He couldn't help but feel she was more or less the catalyst in all this.

 

He sighed, deciding to go back to his new chambers and have a drink. It might help with his frayed nerves. His newly appointed Praetorian Guards following closely behind. He hated them, especially as the last encounter with the red cladded group of assailants was still fresh in his mind. They were trained to protect and guard the Supreme Leader. So when Kylo took over they were sent to guard him. The position apparently demanded it.

 

He didn't trust them. He'd rather have one of his knights accompany him, but he'd stationed them at different important flagships. He didn't trust the high command of First Order even more. So his Knights needed to make sure the commanders carried out his direct orders.

 

The moment he stepped into his quarters, the guards took positions on either side of the entrance. When the door slid close, he felt relieved to put the distance between himself and the guards.

 

He walked to his liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vintage Corellian Whiskey. His father's favorite. Kylo snorted. Like he needed the reminder of his failures.

 

He unscrewed the bottle and poured himself a generous amount of gold liquor. The liquid burned his throat but there was a kind of satisfaction in it. He could already feel his nerves relaxing.

 

Then suddenly he felt something cold and wet falling on his cheek. He reached out and touched his face. There was a drop of water. _Curious_. When he saw them. Falling all around him. Small flakes of fine snow. White and fresh.

 

He heard it then. A soft peal of laughter from behind him. He slowly turned around to find _her_ , standing right in the middle of his sleeping quarters. Her back turned to him. She was looking up as snow fell on her face and she slowly started turning. Her arms spread open, a broad smile lighting up her face.

 

She didn't noticed him yet. She was so taken by the natural occurrence. Kylo realized growing up in Jakku she probably never actually enjoyed a gentle snowy day.

 

Although this wasn't the first time she saw snow. She witnessed it on Star Killer Base, but he doubted she actually took a moment to consider the phenomenon back then.

 

He quietly kept observing her. She was kicking at the snow now and giggling. Her laughter was infectious. It made the corner of his mouth twitch up. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and steepling his hands in front of him. He rested his chin in them and kept looking at the gleeful girl.

 

Kylo didn't know if it was the alcohol or something else, but he started noticing her more. She was a pretty girl, he knew that. But he didn't realize she was actually breathtakingly beautiful.

 

Her cheeks were flushed due to the cold. And her lips look redder than usual. Kylo had the strong urge to pull her closer and crush his lips onto hers.

 

He shook himself out of the dangerous thought. She would knock him down on his ass if he dared to touch her. After the last encounter it was a miracle he was getting to see her again.

 

Kylo decided to close the connection, seeing her like that was only making him it harder for him. Thinking about what could have been would only make it hurt more. He made his decision and he'd never have her in his future.

 

He closed his eyes, willing her to go away. His heart broke but he needed to be stronger. But then he felt a light and cool touch on his cheek.

 

Startled he looked up to find Rey standing right before him. She smiled down at him and for a moment Kylo wondered if it all was a dream. Did he pass out during one of those long meetings?

 

“Rey?” Ben managed to croak out.

 

“Ben, can you see this?” she asked, looking at the snow falling around them.

 

He looked up, and nodded.

 

She sighed heavily. “I wish you were here, Ben.”

 

“I will be,” he whispered, turning his face in her hand, and placing a soft kiss inside her palm. “I will come back for you, sweetheart.”

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just an one shot.
> 
> I hope the ending was happy enough. Shout out to my beta Nori.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts. And if you liked it, please check out other stories in this amazing collection.


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